The Importance of Compassion in Coaching
Working Title: Sometimes the book coach needs to take their own advice.
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One of the most important traits in a coach, book or otherwise, is compassion. Unlike empathy, which only acknowledges the emotions of another, folks with compassion are motivated to help others overcome their obstacles and achieve their goals.
Author Accelerator’s focus on compassion and candor is one of the reasons why I chose their program when pursuing my certification. It is my sincerest desire to help aspiring authors find their story, write it to the best of their ability, and then get them started on the path to publication.
But book coaching is just one arena where I practice compassion. Outside of my career, I’m a mom to my two daughters, one barrel shaped doggo, and my foster cats. But these aren’t just any cats—-they all have feline leukemia.
You can learn a LOT about compassion when you turn your house into a kitty hospice.
You might be wondering how I jumped from fostering to hospice. Its not that far of a reach, actually, once you know a bit more about this disease. Its an ugly, lethal, highly contagious virus. Most kittens in the US are euthanized as soon as they test positive.
Luckily, one kitty named Pumpkin had a false negative. I adopted her and loved her dearly for her 24 month lifespan. She opened my heart and taught me compassion in a manner that shattered my heart before it was able to knit back together again. One of the ways in which my heart has grown, very much like the Grinch’s after he returned Whoville’s Christmas gifts, has been through opening up my home to more of these sick cats and giving them a normal life.
It’s a great idea, and quite lovely, until it is not.
Today is one of the bad days. My lesson in compassion this morning was to say goodbye to my book coaching buddy, Peeps the Wonder Cat. I didn’t want to, but I had to act for her benefit, not mine.
I came home afterwards and tried to write an article reviewing some books I think are helpful for those writing romantasy. Instead, I scrolled Facebook and told myself I was a terrible blogger.
But then I remembered to be compassionate with myself. I’m still in the middle of grief. So todays’ blog is about being true to yourself. I have promised you, dear readers, a weekly blog here at Romantasy Realms. And I will deliver, because I want to see all writers who work hard succeed. But I got NOTHING. So this week’s writing wisdom comes from a fellow Midwesterner, one whose humor is far wittier than my own…
Kurt Vonnegut.
I was given the following eight tips when I attended a Writing Workshop a few years back. It is my pleasure to share these tips with you, in part because they also make me smile. That has been hard today.
So read this, and then, I hope you write a little. For me. For you. For Peeps.
Vonnegut’s Eight Rules of Writing
1. Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.
2. Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.
3. Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.
4. Every sentence must do one of two things—reveal character or advance the action.
5. Start as close to the end as possible.
6. Be a Sadist. No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them—in order that the reader may see what they are made of.
7. Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.
8. Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To hell with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages.
I’ll be back next Friday 💖
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Ivy, thanks for all you do. You're amazing for opening your home like that. I adopted a foster tortie this past year and she's been the love of my life :) Thanks also for the Vonnegut rules. I hadn't seen them before and they will now live happily on my cabinet above my computer screen.