2023: The Year I Fell in Love with My Writing
Working Title: How to improve your writing by kicking imposter syndrome to the curb.
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It’s the time of year when everyone starts looking back on what they’ve achieved, assessing where they fell short, and making plans to grow and succeed in the coming year. After researching ancient European pagan beliefs as a part of writing Rowena’s Song, I started setting my New Year’s intentions on what the Anglo-Saxons call Mōdraniht. This Old English term translates to Mother’s Night, and was observed on the winter solstice.
Since there are no contemporary accounts of how Mother’s Night was celebrated, I’ve cobbled together my own set of rituals that are meaningful to me. This will be the third year where I will sit in front of my fireplace with my husband, sip mead from an actual drinking horn, and give thanks to the dying year for all its gifts.
This year, I’ll thank 2023 for giving me the courage to overcome my imposter syndrome and self-publish Rowena’s Song, enroll in the Author Accelerator Book Coaching course despite fearing I was too old to thrive in an online-only video based curriculum, and to fully embrace my romance/smut loving self and stop allowing misogynistic thinking embedded in my own heart to belittle something that brings me so much joy.
In doing these things, I feel like I’m finally living my best life. I WANT THAT FOR YOU TOO!
Please allow me help you banish Imposter Syndrome in 2024 and beyond.
Imposter Syndrome is loosely defined as a mental habit or pattern of self-doubt. While folks suffer from this in all professions, writers seem especially prone to falling into this trap. Perhaps it has something to with the fact that we are literally creating something from the depths of our souls, which makes us vulnerable in a world that values things that can be quantified over that which is felt. I can’t speak for all authors, but I know putting my hopes, dreams, wounds, and fears into my novel made it a more compelling read, while also leaving me feeling exposed, open to judgement, and fearful that I was actually a fraud when I didn’t become an overnight millionaire after hitting publish.
Prior to enrolling in the Author Accelerator courses, I did not recognize how deeply embedded my imposter syndrome was and how it was holding me back. However, I faced my fears and am proud to have done so.
Here are some tips to help you kick that terrible mental gremlin called imposter syndrome to the curb, live your best life, and write in your authentic voice.
1. Monitor your Inner Dialogue
If you’re like most people, you probably say things to yourself that you would never, ever say aloud to anyone. Like, ever. If you do nothing else on this list, stop doing that! You are self-sabotaging.
STOP!!!
It does not matter if you are published or not. It does not matter that you are not famous, have not won any accolades, or that you don’t have a gazillion followers on social media.
If you write from the heart, you are a writer and your words matter.
2. Share your Feelings in a Safe Space
Find someone you can trust with your feelings to speak to them. The American Psychological Association recommends finding someone outside of your professional circle to have this discussion with, as confiding in a close peer could accidentally result in unjust comparisons and/or jealousy.
For writers, I recommend finding a book coach, or simply opening up to your bestie over a cuppa about how you are feeling. Give voice to those doubts and fears. Sunshine is the best disinfectant. Get that bad juu-juu out of the shadows and banish it for good.
This trusted confidante will remind you of all the ways you are awesome, and that your writing is far better than you give yourself credit for.
Of course, if over the course of the discussion, you realize you are not suffering from imposter syndrome but another trauma, or if the negative self-talk continues to rob you of a good quality of life, please speak to a licensed therapist.
3. Practice Self-Care
If your mind is suffering, there’s a good chance your body is as well. And let’s be honest. Writing isn’t the best activity for our human forms.
It’s time for a little self-care beyond eating that extra-large slice of cheesecake. (Though if there is cheesecake to be had, I am not saying turn it down. Life is short. Eat dessert.)
Writers need more than coffee to sustain their bodies. Drink water. Remember to take your vitamins. Get up from your desk and take a walk. Don’t stay up late in bed reading every night of the week. Stay connected with your loved ones no matter how many deadlines you are facing. Set goals and remember to give yourself credit for the work you do. Tell your inner perfectionistic to take a long walk off a short dock.
4. Keep Writing
Reality Check: Not everything you write will be great. Indeed, calling a first draft “rough” is rather kind. Most of mine are flaming dumpster fires.
That DOES NOT give you permission to stop writing. In fact, if you do stop writing, you are validating the imposter syndrome.
Do Not Stop Writing, no matter what. Write through the doubt. The fear. That nagging voice that somehow returned even though step one of this article encouraged you to banish it. That is the thing about imposter syndrome. Like Covid, it can keep coming back.
But the most beautiful thing is that if you write through the fear, you become a better writer! “Practice makes perfect” might be cliche, but it’s true. In addition to banishing the imposter syndrome, you are a becoming a better writer in the process.
5. Celebrate your Successes
If you are still reading this, I’ll bet you underplay all of the awesome work you do. Time to stop doing that!
Give yourself credit where credit is due!
Did you publish a blog article even though you struggled to write it? Did you get an email saying that someone enjoyed a review you posted? Do you have someone that is your cheerleader in real-life or on social media? Is your beta-reader excited to see your final draft?
YAY FOR YOU!
This was one of the hardest lessons for me to learn. My proofreader told me in her thirty years of experience that Rowena’s Song was the strongest debut novel she ever had the pleasure of working on. Did I query it at that point, like a sane person?
NO! I had a hard time believing her!
You are probably thinking, “Really Ivy?”
Yea, I know. I’m a work in progress. But I believe her now, and that is why I have huge plans for Rowena, Hengest, and the gang in 2024. I re-read my own book, and you know what? It’s really good!
In Conclusion…
If you are a writer—romantasy or otherwise—and you are suffering from imposter syndrome, please save this Substack and review it regularly until you’ve learned to love your writing! I promise that you will be so happy you did. Your creative output is part of what makes you human, and you deserve to feel some joy from the creative process.
I hope you’ll join me in spirit this December 21st as I have my horn o’ mead and I toast all the writers out there that are daring to dream. Waes Hael! (That’s Old English for “To your health!”) It’s usually followed by a response of Drinc Hael (drink well), but I think I’ll end this with a Gewrit Hael (write well).
Happy Holidays to you all! I’ll be writing more about my plans for 2024 next week. Until then, let me know in the comments how bad your imposter syndrome is AND your plans to banish it.
I am so looking forward to celebrating the solstice! Thanks for your ideas! I’m adding some in. Luminaries… bonfire… outdoor tree… and yours!!! Merci!